full of hope

Dear Baby C,

I write this to you on the eve of the new year, the year we are praying we get to bring you home.

This year has been full of so many ups and downs for me and your dad and lately, I have been nothing but a negative nancy just because I’ve been reminiscing. Even something as simple as an overcrowded restaurant is enough to set me off these days. Lord, I pray for my husband and hope he has patience with me over the following months.

But, we are mere hours away from the new year. 365 days full of hope. 365 chances to wake up on the right side of the bed. 365 to smile and laugh, instead of frown and seethe. And, believe it or not, we are only a couple weeks out from starting ivf. Your dad and I don’t hide it anymore, and everyone always asks if we are nervous and how we are feeling. Honestly, I am so ready to have you here that I am nothing but excited for this next adventure. It will be a long road, and I’m sure full of ups and downs, but if it gets you to us safely, I will be okay.

In addition to (hopefully) bringing you into the world, we have a few other fun things up our sleeves for 2018:

• We are going to be installing a fence at our home so your furry brothers have a place to run around outside. Someday I’ll write a post on how amazing these boys are.
• A trip to Colorado.
• Our 4 (!!) year anniversary.
• Floor seats to the Taylor Swift concert (which may be your first concert! In utero, that is)

As the clock ticks down to the new year, I am leaving behind all my negative thoughts.

I am going to work on not letting little things get to me.

I am going to work on being healthier for the future of our family.

I am going to focus on spending more time in the present and not scrolling through my social media feeds.

I am going to work on praying more, and worrying way less.

After all, God’s got this.

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