a list

We finally made it to day 5 post egg retrieval and I am finally feeling like my normal self again. Today I wanted to write a small list of what helped Irwin and I get through our first IVF round and why I felt each of them was so beneficial.

1. Prayer. Lots and LOTS of prayer. Even still it is a rarity to catch myself not thinking about God and our little miracles in the lab. Before Irwin gave me my first injection two weeks ago we prayed. I prayed each morning, each night, at every appointment, every time I was in line at Starbucks after my appointment. Before, during, and after each injection. I was able to remain pretty calm through the whole process and my only explanation I have for that is God. If not for Him, I would’ve been a nervous wreck.
2. No Coffee. At the beginning of January I started a fast that required no caffeine and for the first time since I was probably eight years old, I wasn’t drinking coffee. Once I got past a couple of days of caffeine withdrawal headaches, I felt so good. Like I would’ve never thought I could function without coffee but here I was, dare I say it – thriving.
3. Acupuncture. {I know, I know. Typical “my body is a temple” stuff}. I swore I’d never do this when we first settled on IVF. I wasn’t buying into the hype. THEN as we inched closer I find myself researching acupuncturists in the Cleveland area. I reached out to a few, found one that made me rage angry and stopped looking for a bit. Then I found my perfect match. I’ve only done two sessions, and my next one won’t be until the morning of our transfer but I really feel like this helped me to relax. She also acted as a counselor which I really appreciated.
4. Not being so hard on myself. Guys, I have forever struggled with self-worth and body image. Even when I used to be thin I saw myself as someone who wasn’t good enough. But when I saw those follicles growing and my levels rising, I felt something I had never felt before – I was proud of my body and all it could do. I decided from that moment if my body was craving something (like a Dairy Queen twist cone with crunch coat) I would allow myself to have it. I wouldn’t overindulge, but just enough to satisfy that want. It was one thing I allowed myself to not stress about and being easier on myself made it easy on everyone around me too.

I could go on and list every single one of my family members and friends who knew exactly what we were going through, and everyone who has been praying with us along the way, but I don’t want to keep you here forever. When we first started dealing with infertility I think we thought nobody cared and this was our burden to bare. This is a topic that is never spoken about but there was never a better feeling then when I was able to share my story with others who are going through infertility as well, to be able to pray with them and for them, to have those prayers sent back our way. We are fervently praying for our little miracles, and that healthy happy babies are what results from this, but to know we have such an amazing team of support is so comforting in the event this doesn’t work in our favor.